Have you ever found yourself speaking to avoid an awkward pause? Or better yet (or not) to make a point about how good or knowledgable you are? I have. Especially when I wanted to look sharp and knowledgeable. Little did I know. Commenting on everything is a habit many of us develop (yes, even Finns) in a world that seems uncomfortable with silence. But is every word we say adding value to the conversation, or are we simply filling the void or pumping our own self-esteem?
The truth is, there’s a fine line between engaging dialogue and empty chatter. We often forget to ask ourselves, “Does this add value to the conversation? Am I providing clarity, insight, or encouragement? AND my absolute favorite: Am I respecting the space for others to share their perspectives?
Conversations should be an exchange of ideas, insights, and emotions—a space where both parties come away enriched. Yet, how often do we pause to ask ourselves, Is what I’m saying actually meaningful?
The Cost of Noise
When we speak without purpose, we risk diminishing the impact of our words. Overloading a discussion with unnecessary commentary can drown all the valuable points we aim to make. It’s like adding too much ketchup to a meal and missing the real taste of the food.
This is particularly evident in professional settings, like meetings. Regardless of seniority, participants can fall into the trap of speaking for the sake of participation, mistaking quantity of input for quality. But meaningful contributions aren’t about dominating stage time but making your words count.
The Power of Intentional Speech
Nelson Mandela wisely said, “Talk to them in their own language. Speak to them with what is in their heart, and people will listen.” This reminds us that impactful communication is about authenticity and understanding, not just words. People are more likely to listen—and remember—what you’ve said. Your contributions should stand out not because you’re the loudest but the most deliberate.
Set the tone with your own example.
This principle becomes even more critical in the context of meetings. For example, as a leader, your role isn’t just to contribute and guide the conversation toward meaningful outcomes. A great leader knows that their words set the tone for others, and by being intentional, you encourage your team to do the same.
Deliberate silence is a tool rather than a void. So, be a role model of reading the room and understanding when your contribution would have an input that moves the discussion forward. Always make an effort to invite quieter voices to share their perspectives, as these individuals often have well-thought-out insights that can elevate the entire group’s understanding. And remember why you’re born with two ears and one mouth!
A Challenge to Reflect
While having strong opinions is valuable, finding a balance is important. So the next time you find yourself in a conversation, take a moment to pause. Reflect on your intentions before you speak. Are you engaging because you have something meaningful to add?
You might want to consider that others may see your constant, even well-meaning, comments as overbearing or dominant, feeling that their own contributions are undervalued or ignored. They could also perceive you as insecure, trying to assert yourself too much to gain recognition or validation. Some people might view your behavior as a sign of overconfidence or a lack of respect for differing opinions, and if you’re pushing too far, your colleagues may feel that the conversation is unbalanced, making them reluctant to speak up or collaborate effectively.
By choosing your words carefully, you’ll find that your conversations become more impactful. You’ll leave others with something to think about rather than just something to hear. And in doing so, you will elevate your own voice.
After all, the goal of communication isn’t to be the loudest—it’s to be the most meaningful. So, let’s embrace silence when it serves us and understand when we need to speak and truly have something to say. That’s how we turn conversations into connections.
