Throughout my career, I’ve noticed a recurring pattern: organizations and individuals often stall not because of a lack of talent, but because of a lack of connection, even within the organizations.
We’re often conditioned to protect our assets, budgets, resources, and especially our networks. We sit on our LinkedIn connections like a dragon guarding a hoard of gold, worried that if we share a contact, we’re giving away our competitive edge. But when we treat the success of others as a threat to our own, we fundamentally misunderstand the nature of our most critical resources: time and money.
The Math of the “Giver”
If you’re a fan of data (like I am), look at Adam Grant’s research in Give and Take. He found that across industries, the people at the very top of the success ladder aren’t the “Takers”, they’re the Givers. These are the people who contribute to others without looking for an immediate quid pro quo.
Why? Because generosity builds Social Capital. Every time you make an introduction, you aren’t “giving away” a contact; you’re increasing the total value of your ecosystem.
The Ultimate Metric: Time vs. Money
In business, we’re obsessed with ROI. But here is the reality of the ultimate ROI: money is an attribute we can always generate more of, but time is strictly non-renewable. Think about it this way:
- You know a brilliant operational lead looking for a new challenge.
- You know a founder who is currently drowning in a sea of “to-dos.”
- By spending three minutes writing a double-opt-in intro email, you might save both of them six months of searching.
When you withhold a helpful introduction, you aren’t protecting your success; you’re just forcing someone to spend their finite time breaking down a door you already have the keys to.
Success is Not a Pizza
There is a pervasive myth in competitive industries that success is a zero-sum game. That if a peer lands a great client or ships a product or promotion, there is somehow “less” success available for you.
Our brains are actually wired for this “scarcity mindset.” From an evolutionary perspective, if someone else got the resources, you didn’t. In a modern professional context, this manifests as a tiny flinch of hesitation when a friend tells you they are applying for the same role or reaching out to the same lead as you.
But listen, success is not a pizza. If your friend gets a big slice, yours doesn’t get smaller. In fact, a rising tide doesn’t just lift boats; it builds a better harbor for everyone. When you celebrate and support a “competitor,” you are participating in co-opetition. This involves a psychological shift from viewing peers as rivals to viewing them as members of a high-value ecosystem to which you belong.
How to Unblock Success
Empowerment isn’t a buzzword; it’s an operating model. Here is how I try to keep the “flow” moving in my own network:
- The “60-Second Connector”: If you see two people who should know each other, don’t wait for them to ask. Just ask: “Hey, I think you two would have a fascinating chat about [X]. Want an intro?”
- The “Spotlight Hand-off”: If a project comes your way that doesn’t fit your current “Selective Advisor” phase, don’t just say no. Say: “I’m not the right fit for this right now, but you should absolutely talk to [Name]. They are a wizard at this.”
- The “Public High-Five”: Did a colleague just do something cool? Mention it. A LinkedIn shout-out takes less time than making a cup of coffee, but can be the social proof someone needs to land their next big win.
From Gatekeepers to Connectors
Stop guarding the door and start opening it. Share the contacts. Make the introductions.
And here is the hardest part to swallow: Do it even if you are both aiming for the same job. If your colleague is the better fit for that specific role at this particular time, helping them get it doesn’t make you a “loser.” It makes you a person of immense integrity and a high-value node in your ecosystem. In the long run, being the person who ensures the right talent finds the right place is a far more sustainable top skill than winning a single interview.
Success isn’t a solo sport. When you help others reach their goals, you aren’t just being nice; you are building the very ground you stand on. The bigger their world gets, the bigger yours becomes, too.
Let’s move from a “gatekeepers” culture to a “connectors” culture. Match two people in your network who should know each other. Why? Because every time you act as a bridge, you practice strategic generosity. You prove your value isn’t in who you know, but in how much flow you create for the people around you.
So, who are you matching this week?
